Updated: Apr 20
We forget that we are the only ones who can truly know our experience, the manual can’t apply to you because it wasn’t written about you. Yes – you are bound to find bits of advice that resonate with you so by all means, try it out. Expanding our knowledge is great…until we take it all as gospel even when it goes against what feels internally true. How many times have you tried a diet, an exercise regime or a spiritual practice that just felt completely out of alignment with you? And then did you feel like you failed when you couldn’t stick to it, didn’t get the results you were after? We can go so far outside that we forget to tap back in. There is a language that vibrates between your head and your heart and finding the harmony there is key, it becomes the gauge for reading any outside stuff and interpreting it. Is this for me? Keep checking. Remember, the word resonant is simply that what you’re taking in is striking a chord of recognition.
This might also sound counterproductive to my role in coaching; here I am telling you to close the manual and shut out the noise so you can hear your own wisdom. But that’s actually all coaching is meant to be, it’s your path and you light the way, I might just help illuminate when things get dim. A better word for my coaching might be “reminding”, that’s what my role feels like. Drilling down through the conditioning and programming and getting you back to the core where your wisdom is stored. Clearing your ears so you can hear it. Tuning your heart so you can feel it. I don’t believe I’m ever actually telling anyone something they don’t already know. Something in you called out to me and I’m just answering it back, but it’s your own wisdom. Get it? It’s why we seek the council of our girlfriends, our sisterhood, because they can help bring us back to ourselves.
These girls are 100% in the moment and totally themselves!
I’m having my own moments of that, finding myself in situations where I’m getting reminded of what is true for me. I was listening to an old favourite song the other day and the words played over and over in my mind; “I was waiting for a moment, but the moment never came. All the billion other moments were just slipping all away.” I love how when I am open to a message it just goes on blast, coming at me in different ways over and over. Thanks universe! Since last year I feel like everything I know is being challenged and either reinstalled in a deeper way or shifted out and replaced with a new knowing. I’ve been low-key building a coaching business around idealism and working out my best way to push it out into the world, waiting on my moment to be clear enough to say what I really want to say. My mind rambles; I don’t like the word ‘coach’, should I drop it and find something else? I can’t decide if I prefer group work or 1:1. If ultimately I just want to be a writer should I put all my energy there instead? How do I promote myself now, is this the right thing?? As I wait and vacillate, the world spins and the moments whiz by, unnoticed and under-utilized. Like all things in life there is no perfect moment to begin, turns out the best way is to just flat out declare the thing so here it is – I believe that you deserve to live the life of your dreams and you already know it, it’s your birthright…the only thing I want to do is remind you that it’s all in a series of choices and you are actively making them everyday. Yes you. You are responsible for your life and you are the creator, or the co-creator at any rate, choosing which next path you take. Idealism is putting on rose coloured glasses and daydreaming the hell out of your life, imagining every divine and delicious moment as if ordering them up from a catalogue. AND it is also simply taking a hot minute to inventory all that exists as evidence in your life right now that you are already living the life of your dreams. Can’t you see it? Here’s the part you might be missing; you don’t need to get clear on your life’s purpose in order to live that ideal version of your life, you need to live your life ON PURPOSE so that you actually feel how good, how deeply magical, how synergistic, how beautiful life is.
Again, tapping into the rapid energy we have in 2021 and beyond, there is no better time than now. And not just because now is actually all we have (duh) but because the energy of this time we’re in is only asking us to do one thing; know yourself, know your worth, know your dreams and your heart and stop at nothing to make manifest of those. But it’s not about finding purpose…
It’s about living a life ON purpose.
There’s a lot of hype, a lot of soul searching, a lot of bullshit, a lot of cute IG posts, a lot of manuals between where we are and where we want to be. Ex. you desire to be more outdoorsy, to feel invigorated by the cold winter weather and get your body moving each and every day but standing between you and that reality seems to be a series of issues; you’re too tired and sleeping too much, you’re eating all the wrong foods, you aren’t getting enough water, you can’t seem to put down your phone long enough to even notice the outside world let alone revel in it. The end result you desire is feeling more invigorated and energized by spending time in nature but you’ve built yourself so many perceived obstacles you must overcome to get there. What if you just started at the end? Today, simply go outside and walk around your block or down your laneway or stand in your yard and count the birds. Perhaps by first doing the thing you ultimately want to do you would naturally start to put away your device, crave more water and life-giving foods, wake up a bit earlier, meet a friend for a walk. By choosing the renewed energy first you put yourself into the space to receive all the resources needed to support it. Does that make sense?
It’s what alignment is all about. – body | mind | soul – as you become more of who you’re meant to be by doing more of what you love to do the foundation is rebuilt in a way that brings you more of this. It’s not first that you need to have something to do something to be something, it’s actually the opposite. Book a little 15 min check in with me if you want more clarity here!
life as an experiment; you’re just trying things on, keeping what fits, shrugging off what doesn’t. So exhale, you’re not being judged on this (in any way that actually counts) and you can never get it wrong. Nothing matters as much as you likely have believed it does, and I say that to impart a sense of freedom and liberty from the hamster wheel.
Don’t let your happiness become a marketing tool. Don’t get so fooled by the clever public relations campaigns that you start to measure the success of your life and the worthiness of your being by what you have and how much. It’s a time to reconsider what happiness really means to each of us as individuals so that we can detach from what we’ve been told will make us happy – your car, your house, your partner, your clothes, your food, your vacation, your new boots – they must bring you happiness! But if we’ve misdefined what it is to be happy then we’re on a perpetual hunt for the next dopamine hit.
Like the song I was quoting, while we’re waiting for our moment, our true happiness, the development of our purpose, we are missing all the billions of other wonderful moments. The ones that actually build your life. The magic of life is held in every moment, sometimes it’s only when we see the full picture we can really ‘get’ that but do you know when that is? Do you want to wait until your death bed to have your aha moment? It’s like looking at one of those photo collages that are made of hundreds of tiny little photos and build one big image. Take apart the big image and you see the beauty and perfection of each tiny photo, that’s where the true art is. If permission is what you’re waiting for then I’ll gladly give it to you – choose now, this is your moment.