Sometimes I think that I’m doing this manifestation thing all wrong. I’m too caught up in it, I’m hyper focused on an outcome, I can’t just let things be. And then I think about the very real wishes of my heart, the deep pulsing desires I have that never fade. Not a whimsy like a pair of boots that seem perfect for fall, but the deep down dreams that I hold dear. They’re tucked away, always glowing like a coal stoked just enough by breath to keep burning. Country, quiet, limestone, farm, trees, birds, barns, wide wooden floors, an expansive kitchen, fireplaces, deep window sills, water view, peace. All of those just in there and as much a part of me as anything else, an appendage. I don’t obsess about them, just bring one to the surface from time to time when I allow myself to think a bit bigger than my current reality. And now some of them are here. And they showed up at the 11th hour, which in my experience is when miracles always occur. Down to the colour of the trim in this house, a colour I had thought of painting the trim in my old home. My wishes become reality.
So what is this? The process of making an ideal life, something I coach about, something I’m so in love with. It’s not having everything just so, it’s not having everything lined up perfectly. It’s not spending a certain time in meditation, or making the most curated vision board. It’s not even having a great coach (though that super helps so let’s talk ok?) that guides you in making the connections from point A to Z. It’s understanding our role in co-creation.
Co-creation is working alongside a power greater than you. You can call it god, spirit, your higher self, source, universe. It’s the presence that you co-mingle with, the one that you plead to, give thanks to, maybe even berate at times. It’s the part that’s working over time to conspire in your favour and it’s always listening. That’s why having those small coals that you keep alight are important, and you can feed the flame in many ways.
+ feelings — staying in the space of feeling; this ideal situation/thing/life, how does it leave you feeling – light, spacious, buoyant, magnetic, energized, peaceful – don’t attach to the thing, attach to the feeling [pro tip; make note of where you already get that feeling now]
+ challenges — keep in action and allow yourself to take big steps towards what you want, this shouldn’t feel like a constant struggle, it is kinetic, it has a flow to it. If you find yourself in misery, stop and change tracks.
+ sign posts — eyes open dearest, where are you already seeing evidence of what you want existing? Immerse yourself in this and keep asking for more sign posts to show up, expect them and acknowledge when they come.
+ desires — dream hard, dream long, do it daily; when you can’t sleep, when you are waiting, when you are feeling down, D R E A M.
There are misconceptions about what it means to live an ideal life, I think mainly the error is assuming that it’s only ‘working’ if it’s perfect, if you already have the happy ending. But it’s actually finding the ideal in what already is and creating more of that. When we put everything on hold with this notion that if it’s not perfect, it’s not happening, we imprison ourselves. We have to be flexible in allowing the plan to unfold in the timeliness of its choosing, it won’t always be happening on our timeline. This practice is actually liberating! You choose the idealistic parts and then release the expectation of how or when it will happen. Trust in its occurrence.
Another misconception is that you can just make it happen, and if it’s not happening you didn’t work hard enough. You didn’t grind, hustle, or try hard enough, you weren’t consistent enough. I’m calling bullshit here. After working in an industry that many “successful” people promote achievement through forced action, I am working with enough recovering overachievers to know that it can’t come on terms like that. It will never be sustainable, you will burnout and you will miss the point of it all — to revel in the sweetness of life as it already is, to find the ideal parts that are already there and proliferate them. You will overlook the blessings you’ve already received. The lie that we need to work harder to achieve our greatest dreams has no place in the world of co-creation and will keep us in a constant chase, we will be left unfulfilled. We need better understanding of the role our mindset plays, we need to get into the habit of challenging our belief systems, our inherited values and reevaluate often, allowing ourself to come into frequency with the big life we are actively seeking.
THIS IS NOT EASY. You don’t have to pretend it is. While you’re living in one version of life but very much conjuring up a new one, the in-between can feel super uncomfortable. That’s part of the process too. And allowing yourself to still enjoy what is…that’s the key. You must find the goodness in what you’ve already manifested, you must give gratitude for what you’ve already co-created, then you stay in the space of allowance for more.
You also have to move. “You move, I move” is how I like to think of it. You make the effort, stay in action, explore all avenues, and watch how the universe responds. I have many examples of this but my house hunting saga is the most recent so let’s stay with that. 2017; We were outgrowing our house and thought we hit upon the next move, we put all our eggs into that basket, we went all in, and sadly we lost that bet. But we were still itching to move on. 2018/19; We distracted ourselves for awhile but taking some long trips away from our home, exploring other places, testing the waters. Each time we returned to our house, we knew it wasn’t ours much longer. 2019; And then a new baby came along and the need to expand was very real, the quarters were getting tighter. 2020; We made the decision to travel abroad for a year and then…a global pandemic shifted our plans again. And yet the house we lived in was no longer actually ours and it was on the market, our time there was coming to a close. We hunted, we found houses, we made offers, we lost, we retracted. And the house we were living in was sold and then…not. So we bought ourselves more time, ‘if we can just get through the summer here’ we thought. And the house was sold and then not yet another time. Our moving date changed from end of June to end of July to end of August. In came August and we were still on our hunt yet less intense, less set in our ways about what we needed to happen. We had to be flexible because time was running out, and we no longer felt the anguish surrounding this. We let go of feeling like failures because we didn’t make the dream happen this go around, we let go and resigned ourselves to the process. We had to go through the transformation of an old mindset to a new one and it was slow work that spanned over three years, but once we changed our ability to think in new ways, new options presented themselves.
That’s when it all clicked into place. There is no accident to this, I’ve experienced it enough times to know that this is
We will be accommodated as much as we expect to be. This is why the dreaming piece of this process is so important. I want to live a big life, I’m not happy with mediocrity and the status quo just simply doesn’t float my boat. I allow my dreams to be big, I mean mega, global. I get scared, all of the time actually, I doubt myself and question my ability, I get the same “who are you to be so great?” running unhelpfully through my head. But I keep pushing through, sitting with the ickiness, peeling back the layers, exploring why I feel this way and training myself to come through with new, bigger, better patterns of thinking and believing. This is the work! And the fruits of my labour are always realized in one way or another.
It’s helpful to know that we can’t do this alone. We don’t get to solidify each design, it’s actually not our job to. We get to be the dreamer and then in unison with something greater we build it.
I’ll run a program around this soon, I’ve wanted to for, oh, this entire year so far. Again, the timing of things! I didn’t imagine when I embarked on 2020 that I would be homeschooling and homesteading, wow. I love working one on one with clients around their ideal lives but I’d love to make that much bigger, a community feeling. It’s coming, stay tuned, put it on your vision board *wink*! I’m reminded to stay in the moment of now, to remember that just being in this world is enough. It looks a lot like full-time momming, making a cozy nest of this new home, keeping up to my rapidly growing baby and all the while keeping the big dreams simmering away on the back burner.
My final words; you can exist in both realms. You can be waiting in action. You can know that this current life isn’t all that you desire and still live it anyway, and you can be actively moving towards the next phase. You keep moving, do the mindset and belief breakthrough work you need (ahem, again, I can help) the universe/source/god/your higher self will keep pace.